The Secrets to Changing Your Life

Life change happens best in community. 

That's what I used to say as the Adult Ministry Director at my church.  And I believed it.  And yes, I still believe it.  

The controversial thing I believe is that the magic is not in the getting together.   We can get together, eat great apps, and share prayer requests for hours on end.  And I did that.  But, so often, in my own life, there were things I was committing to change that weren't changing, despite my community gatherings.  

Eating habits.  Exercise habits.  Taking the bold leap to expand my blog.  Promoting myself as a speaker.  Changing jobs.  Inviting my neighbor to church with me.  

You name it.  I wanted to change.  I had good intentions.  But, like most of us, I was stuck in a rut on verbally committing to change and yet staying the same.  The same as yesterday.  And the day before.  And the day before that. 

Do you ever wonder why we don't change even when we want change? 

Yea, me too.  And since I started my journey into life coaching, I've found some answers. 

Life coaches are not experts on their clients lives.  Big secret:  most of the time I have no idea what you should do specifically.  But I am an expert in is how people change.  I know what's required to help a person make the steps to changing their step at a time. 

A few weeks ago I held a group coaching session in my home.  The title was Committing to Life Change.  In the session, I talked about the Stages of Transformation Model.  You see, every person going through a change goes through these stages. 

  1. Awareness:  Every person starts with a making a change at the awareness stage.  It's about perspective on their lives.  It's about realizing that a change is needed. 
  2. Inner Work: Change is hard.  Therefore, change takes work.  Inner work.  What are your feelings surrounding this change?  What is motivating the change?  Is there anything I need to change to make this change happen?
  3. Sorting Out:  Once you are aware you need the change and have done some inner work, you need to sort it out.  What do I need to let go of to make this change?  (I have one word for you on  my food change...Chocorooms from the World Market.  Taste'll see).  Or, what do I need to embrace to make this change?  (Sorry, I got distracted by the Chocorooms). 
  4. Sourcing Creativity:  This stage is all about options.  What are your options for getting there?  In my previous example, one of my options is not buying them.  
  5. Appreciation: The last stage is gratitude for the change and making sure you are aligning with your values.   

It's a lot of technical jargon.  But if we don't take the time to be still and see where we are on these stages, we'll never be able to move to the next stage.  

So what stage are you in?  Awareness?  Sorting it out?  Sourcing Creativity?  Take some time today to find out where you are and where you want to go. 

The real secret in all of this comes back to community.  Your community.  You see, one of the great things I've learned in coach training is that we grow in community by being real.  Life is messy.  We are messy.  And God's plan for our growth is not about sharing the right answers at Bible study, but by sharing our heart.  

You see, knowing where we are on the stages of transformation is the first step.  But sharing who we are, mess and all, with our people is the best step.  I've found that my best growth comes when I'm willing to be vulnerable.  Willing to share my heart.  Willing to let others know the real me.  

And from there, you and I, together create a community that gracefully keeps each other accountable.  And because of that, we can help each other change our lives.  

Wanna join me?  I'd love to hear what you are working on and how we can become a community that is life-changing.