Trusting God's Timing

When was the last time you felt regret?  Regret because it was too late.  Regret because your agenda didn't match reality.  Regret because you should have....

The lessons of life are sometimes hard to learn.  People are more important than agendas.  The things we plan have a way of not working out the way we thought it would.  We learn to be flexible and live in the moment and be thankful for each moment spent. 

My friend and I recently got back from vacation.  We took a long road trip through Chicago to see my dad and then on to Branson, MO to watch some shows and take in the sights. 

To be honest, I had an agenda for our swing through Chicago.  Grab some Portillo's.  Stop for a visit with my uncle and cousins.  Spend lots of time with my dad - making up for the long period of not visiting in the last year. 

My dad had been sick.  He had been in the hospital in April with pneumonia and had not quite been able to make it home with pneumonia recovery and foot pain.  He was in a rehab facility.  My agenda:  visit him a few times there.  See how he was doing. 

I had it all planned out.  Stop in and visit.

That's not quite how it went.  The day before our trip I called to set up our visits.  He wasn't prepared to commit.  He was going home the day we arrived.  Change of plans.  Visiting at home.  I could still work with that.  I was to call him when we arrived to set up some time. 

We arrived.  I called.  He wasn't really up for a visit.  He was not feeling well at all.  He had doctors appointments scheduled.  I insisted on coming on Thursday morning before we left for Missouri.  This was not in my plans at all.  But people are more important than agendas.  So we flexed.  We left behind schedule.  We finally visited my dad. 

The visit was good and difficult all at the same time.  He was not doing well.  He was struggling physically.  He needed assistance in walking and driving and living.  After a little chit chat and a health update, I said "I love you" and we hit the road. 

I thought about him on the road.  I wasn't sure how much longer he was made for living here.  He was tired and weak.  And yet, he was my dad.  He was supposed to be invincible.  He was supposed to be around for longer.  

On our way home, I received the call.  Dad was moving into hospice.  Doctors gave him 1-3 weeks to live.  I would head home and get back to Chicago by mid-week, giving me time to get things in order to leave again.  Giving me time to coordinate with a friend who volunteered to drive with me.  Giving me time to process all that had happened in one short week. 

The evening before I was set to leave to say  my last good-bye I received another call.  He had passed away.  Peacefully.  With people he loved by his side.  Before one last visit. 

I was filled with grief and regret.  Grief because it didn't seem real.  I had taken for granted that he would always be in Chicago and on the other end of the phone.  Regret because I wondered why I didn't redirect when I got the call.  One last visit.  That's all I needed. 

My good friends were with me when I got the call.  And they reminded me of one thing.  

God's timing is perfect.  

According to Psalm 139, God knew the day that my dad would breathe his last breath.  He knew that I wouldn't make it to Chicago again.  And He chose to make what happened happen. 

My friend's words were a healing balm.  I could choose to live in regret.  Or, I could choose to trust in God's timing. 

I choose to trust in God's timing.  I believe that His timing is perfect and for His purposes and plans, I was not meant to be in Chicago for my dad's passing.  

I choose to live in the moment and be thankful for one last visit just days before he passed away.  And a short phone call to say "I love you" the morning of his passing. 

I choose to trust God with the details and my heart and my grieving process.  I choose to trust that God is loving in his timing of all things.  

There's other stuff going on that applies to this.  Like my house.  I want to sell it.  And quite frankly, it's taking longer than I thought to get it ready.  New carpets.  De-cluttering.  Getting the hard water stains off my shower door.  

I choose to trust in God's timing.  The moment I list my home is God's perfect timing for my house to sell.  Choose to trust. 

I think about you reader and I know most of you don't have what I have.  Most of you haven't lost your dad last week and aren't selling your house so you can breathe a little easier while building your business. 

But you have stuff.  Stuff that causes you to question.  Stuff that causes you to become anxious.  Stuff that makes you wonder if you should have or could have...

Maybe it's waiting on a new job opportunity.  Or a financial breakthrough.  Or a child to come back home (home to you and home to God).  Or just a renewed hope in the everydayness of life. 

No matter what your stuff is or what you are waiting on - God's timing is perfect.  It may not always feel perfect.  It way leave you wondering.  It may leave you questioning. 

But, in the end, faith is not about our feelings.  Faith is about trusting God.  Faith is about his truth.  We can take God's perfect timing to the bank. 

So today, I say this.  One foot faith is not about living a life of regrets.  One foot faith is about being thankful for each moment.  One foot faith is realizing blessing and pain may come on the same day.  One foot faith is about trusting in God's timing even when it feels a little off.  

Trusting with you...